Never Ending.

(3ala golat Danderma all I need is a receiver and I can watch TV with that tube in my arm)

Nearly 3 months ago I was woken up at 5am from stabbing pain in my stomach (m3da), was like nothing I've experienced before. I couldn't sleep and was getting worse till 8am that's when everything was getting worse and I blacked out on my mother's feet whilst she was asleep. W3laya 3alaiha hal maraa kila mkhar3t'ha w ehy nayma :/

The rest you all know, I was hospitalized for 3 days and literally starved No Food No Water!! For 3 days I was living on drip and morphine, pain not subsiding, and they discharged me because they couldn't diagnose, as always! I did Ultrasound, CT Scan, PET Scan, and a gastroscopy with sedation. Well still they don't know what's causing it.

Yesterday I had to do EUS (Endoscopy with Ultrasound) under general anesthetic. I did s0 many procedures in the past 2 years that I really don't care anymore nor emotionally feel a thing. Only concern is I HATE general anesthetic and that split second before you get knocked out scares the living day lights out of me.

This procedure was absolutely shit. Firstly, I was delayed 2 hours (bear in mind I was fasting), anger and cursing in every language was flying around whilst I was dressed in my blue surgical gown. Secondly, I was dehydrated which caused all my veins to disappear and it took them 3 tries to cannulate me. Meaning my arm looks like that of a druggie today, all bruised black and blue. Nurse, anesthetist, and main anesthetist were trying to calm me down (hold me down) to find a vein, it was beyond painful. Thirdly, they attached blood pressure to my leg, heart beat monitor to finger/wires on chest, cannula on left hand, a blue plastic thing in my mouth to keep it open so they can shove the scope down my throat, AND on top of that they wanted to insert an oxygen sponge tube in my nose!!! For fuck me sake shlooooon!! Oh did I forget to mention they sprayed my throat with some anesthetic spray that made me wana vomit my stomach out.

All of that happened within the 10 minutes they were trying to knock me out but they couldn't. All I remember, I was crying and tears running down my face with one doctor holding my hand, nurse holding my other hand and wiping my tears, and all I did was look at the clock in front of me saying il7amdillah il7amdillah il7amdillah over and over again till I passed out.

Woke up feeling like been hit by a bus and with no voice at all. So ya shit is never ending..