Thursday, 21 July 2011

Never Ending.

(3ala golat Danderma all I need is a receiver and I can watch TV with that tube in my arm)

Nearly 3 months ago I was woken up at 5am from stabbing pain in my stomach (m3da), was like nothing I've experienced before. I couldn't sleep and was getting worse till 8am that's when everything was getting worse and I blacked out on my mother's feet whilst she was asleep. W3laya 3alaiha hal maraa kila mkhar3t'ha w ehy nayma :/

The rest you all know, I was hospitalized for 3 days and literally starved No Food No Water!! For 3 days I was living on drip and morphine, pain not subsiding, and they discharged me because they couldn't diagnose, as always! I did Ultrasound, CT Scan, PET Scan, and a gastroscopy with sedation. Well still they don't know what's causing it.

Yesterday I had to do EUS (Endoscopy with Ultrasound) under general anesthetic. I did s0 many procedures in the past 2 years that I really don't care anymore nor emotionally feel a thing. Only concern is I HATE general anesthetic and that split second before you get knocked out scares the living day lights out of me.

This procedure was absolutely shit. Firstly, I was delayed 2 hours (bear in mind I was fasting), anger and cursing in every language was flying around whilst I was dressed in my blue surgical gown. Secondly, I was dehydrated which caused all my veins to disappear and it took them 3 tries to cannulate me. Meaning my arm looks like that of a druggie today, all bruised black and blue. Nurse, anesthetist, and main anesthetist were trying to calm me down (hold me down) to find a vein, it was beyond painful. Thirdly, they attached blood pressure to my leg, heart beat monitor to finger/wires on chest, cannula on left hand, a blue plastic thing in my mouth to keep it open so they can shove the scope down my throat, AND on top of that they wanted to insert an oxygen sponge tube in my nose!!! For fuck me sake shlooooon!! Oh did I forget to mention they sprayed my throat with some anesthetic spray that made me wana vomit my stomach out.

All of that happened within the 10 minutes they were trying to knock me out but they couldn't. All I remember, I was crying and tears running down my face with one doctor holding my hand, nurse holding my other hand and wiping my tears, and all I did was look at the clock in front of me saying il7amdillah il7amdillah il7amdillah over and over again till I passed out.

Woke up feeling like been hit by a bus and with no voice at all. So ya shit is never ending..

11 comments:

Butterfly Chick said...

I am so sorry for whats happening to you.. I hope you get well soon inshalla..

All I can say is: يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلاةِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ

allah e9abrech oo e3eench yarab

الزين said...

مادري شقول

...


يارب

Hope said...

7abeeebti, so sorry you ahd to go through all that &^%$
bs at least this will help them diagnose you & know what's wrong, inShalla ma feech ella el3afyah
ajer o 3afya inShalla darling

reemas said...

LOVE YOU .. HUGS

1001Nights said...

Inshalla killa fee meezan 7asanatich habeebty. Inshala ti6la3 ilmushkila shay basee6 oo sahal 3ilaaja ya rab oo tiftakain min ilmustashfa wil a6ibba. Will pray for you habeebty.

..::Amu::.. said...

Dunno what to say..I really hope you get well soon and inshallah live a normal life like you used too!!

Standy said...

i pray for you...


Ameeen

نون النساء said...

مافي شي يصعب على رب العالمين يا اختي


أتمنالك الشفاء ان شاء الله

Anonymous said...

plzzzzzzzzzzzz 6amneeenna on the results :( Ajer o 3afya 7beebti o matshofeen shar my dear .

*hug*

Vix

Expat and the City said...

Your blog is a reality check for all of us that take life for granted. You kicked cancers ass and your posts keep all of us in check. How can I complain about a cold when you have gone through so much pain and suffering? I pray you never have to suffer like this again and will stay cancer free for the rest of your life.

Happy Ramadan and thank you for telling it like it is on your blog. :)

Anonymous said...

i been following your blog for a few years now, after all your pain and suffering when you recovered i got so happy!!! seeing this made me cry so hard!!!! inshallah you will recover from this, im going to dedicate all my prayers to you!!! i admire you for how strong you are xxxxx