Hell of ALL Hells

How do I put this in words? It was indescribable, it ranks 3rd most painful experience in my life. 1. Bone marrow biopsy. 2. Peg injection to boost my immune system (like a million bees stinging u all at once). 3. 11th Chemo.

Dear lord have mercy it was painful, enshala3 galby mn mokana, t3athabt 3athab ma ba3da 3athab! Lo thab7a alf wa7id atwqa3 Alah ghafarly on tuesday :'(

God has blessed me with an amazing 6th sense, from the moment I woke up I knew it I felt it, that it won't be a good day but I tried telling myself don't be such a pessimist! I dunno when I'll start listening to my gut! I'll spare you the entire day action cuz I'm too tired to write. It started with the first cannula, nurse puts it in and it aches, but I thought FourMe stop being a kid shut it and tolerate a bit of pain, seeing you don't have any veins left. Well I wasn't being a kid and the pain escalated and had to have it taken out. And have a second one put in. Some more dunking arm in boiling water and we barely find a vein.. I take 3 chemo's and now time for the final 4th one which by itself takes an hour. Nurse hooks it up and I scream like I never screamed before! Slowed it down from an hour to 1.5 hours PAIN, over 2 hours more screams and pain, 2.5 hours still indescribable pain so had to be removed.

That was one scream and cry from 5:30 till 8pm. I cried for my life. I cried for 5 months of chemotherapy torture. I cried for 5 months of nausea. I cried for 2 tumours worth. I cried for my youth. I cried for my life that hasn't begun and seeing literally get shattered in front of my eyes. I cried for having cancer at 29. I cried for every pain and ache I experienced this year. I cried for 3 hours non-stop..

In between all the crying they had to cannulate me for the 3rd time. I don't have any veins left on right arm, and left arm I didn't let them take blood from my hand and took from upper arm. Meaning if they use the wrong vein the chemo will literally squirt out of my arm! Rabi r7amny and they found a vein and finished rest of chemo. In between that a doctor had to come and prescribe morphine for the pain. 3 nurses were working on me. A lady infornt of me taking chemo started crying everytime they cannulate me, I'd look at her and she would cross her fingers in hope they'd find a vein.

One of nurses came over and told me what have you done to your nurse?! Apparently the woman was having a nervous breakdown from how much I broke her heart! My friend was trying to make me comfortable while I see her tears drop on my chair. I kept crying and laughing in the same time. I laughed at how hopeless I was and cried at how helpless I was. I cried cuz I was battling friggin chemo to the last drop!

Since tuesday I've been in a daze and still am. I need more time to recover. I have nothing more to say apart from wait for God's mercy..