Tuesday, 19 October 2010
Chemo-12! THE FINALE!!
- 12 CHEMO'S DOWN.. ZERO TO GO!! ALF IL7AMDILLAAAAAAAAAAH :))))))
- I DID IT !! WE DID IT!!
- You know the drill, I'll surface back up again in couple of days..
- Tried to sum it up in short.. It all started here:
"Happy birthday to me. I turned 29.
And I just found out I have cancer." Kicked off back in May when I was told I have Stage 4 Cancer.. And that's when the journey started, 5 months of utter hell, pain, and struggle..
I FourMe withstood Stage 4 Cancer, 2 tumours, affected lymph nodes, liver, spine, abdomen, part of bones lower back. Muscle aspiration (biopsy, while awake). Operation for 3 biopsies. And the MOST PAINFUL experience on the planet Bone Marrow Biopsy :'(
Withstood a YEAR long of PAIN along with being unable to diagnose. 12 Chemotherapy sessions! 2 suffocations. Lung failure scares. Hundreds of blood tests. Blacking out. Humiliation. Breathlessness. Hair loss. Change in figure. Endless X-Rays, MRI's, CT-Scans, and PET scan. Possibility of never having children. Shoulder scare. Pains and aches. Depression. Tiredness. Lethargy. Exhaustion. Heart scare. CONTINUOUS NAUSEA for 6 months! Medication from 7 to 21 pills a day!! PEG injection (most painful injection on planet).
Had 10 and 20 year long friends stop asking about me because I'm sick! My supposed love of my life and soulmate ex, heard I have cancer and did NOT even send me a text msg saying salmat (probably he forgot the time I held his hands while he was scared to have blood tests done)!! Some other so called friends backed off gradually.
Withstood seeing the pain I'm causing my mother and her desperation of seeing her only daughters' life threatened with Cancer. Pain caused aunts and loved ones.
Withstood signing papers consenting to chemotherapy and acknowledging the damage it could cause me, terminal damage and fatality.. And took OFF my bra in Marks & Spencer's food hall !
What have you been up to in the last 5 months? I tell you one thing I went to hell and I came back.. I was tortured in every way possible, physically, mentally, and emotionally.. I've learned more in 5 months than I have learned in 29 years..
I learned that I am beyond strong esmillah 3alay, I learned I can go through anything and come out standing. I learned that when God loves you he tests you.
Dear God, my only wish and hope is I won't need more than 12 sessions and I will be cured with your will. If this is not what you want I fully accept it and willing to go through what you have destined for me. I feel young I want to do so much yet if you have other plans for me then so be it. Thank you God for my family, friends, and wonderful strangers who were there for me during this extremely rough time. Thank you for my cancer, thank you for my pain that taught me to be happy, thank you for letting me go through so much chemo and still come out of it alive and kicking. Alf ALF ALF il7amdillah 3ala n3mtik. Alf il7amd lik ya rabi alf il7amd :)
My results should come out end of November.. Till then I FourMe am eternally grateful to each person that left me a comment, email, tweet, or prayed for me in silence.. Thank you, you made a sick girl very happy during the roughest time in her life, much appreciated and God will reward you one way or the other for your generosity :*
I am 29 years old and I WILL beat Cancer with God's will before I'm 30 INSHALLAH!!
Alf ALF il7amdillah..
FourMe Over and OUT :)