Dress Up

This is truly one of the things I miss the most.. Dressing up that is.. I miss getting all dolled up in beautiful clothes, make up, hair all done, super high heels, and looking immaculately perfect.. I miss putting on make up .. I miss doing my (longer) hair.. I miss rummaging through my closet mix and matching the perfect ensemble.. I miss putting on heels that would complete that look.. I miss trying on different watches to find the one that suits.. I miss wearing earrings.. I miss giving my self the once over done look and thinking damn you're good at putting things together!! Last but not least I miss feeling like I am a beautiful woman..

Instead I have to wear loose clothing.. Make up looks pasty on my skin.. I can only wear sandals because my body/feet are swollen.. Watch is too heavy on my hand.. Hair, well am going bald.. Perfume doesn't smell the same anymore.. Medication is changing my features, I look different.. I'm in a rut.. Yes my health is my only concern now but I'm so tired of just worrying about it.. I want to look and feel like I used to, I wanna be me.. I want that useless, pointless, satisfaction of looking in the mirror and thinking damn you're gorgeous.. I've been sick for too long, next month it will be an exact year! That's how long I've been tortured for.. And only now that am getting treated.. I need me.. I need the old me back.. I need to feel like me soon :(