I don't understand. Will someone explain it to me please. Day in and day out people are talking about how brave and strong I am. From comments here to what my doctors say to family and friends. Everyone seems to be seeing something that I am completely oblivious to. Are you all trying to cheer me up by saying this or what is it?! Are these cheerleading tactics that you all seem to be masters in? Are you all ganging up on me and trying to fool me into bravery and strength so I can overcome this ordeal?!
I possibly understand why my doctors say that I seem brave or what have you to them because I literally put up a fight and went against hospital policies to be given chemo ASAP when other patients do the impossible to evade such treatment. And probably I was 1 of the very few psychotic patients whom they've ever had beg for chemo.
But back home and with you people I'm spilling my guts and terrified. I'm not brave nor strong. I'm a mess. I'm fragile. And I'm literally breaking day by day. So what are you lot talking about?! Are u all conspiring against me and just saying that I am so and so to cheer me up and motivate me or what exactly? I'm truly confused. Kindly explain..
p.s. To Fajer: I don't know who you are nor ever come across your blog nor seen you comment here previously to this disaster. My dear don't ask me why but your comments mean A LOT to me and sometimes couple words you say stick in my head and are helping me get over little hurdles during the day! Thank you for your support its much appreciated :*
p.p.s. To ALL: I truly appreciate ALL of your comments and they mean S0 much to me.. Thank you my darlings :**