Saturday, 22 May 2010


I'm under so much pressure as it is and one thing that makes me literally lose my anger, temper, and calmness is when someone suggests I seek second opinion!! I know they are asking me to do so because they care about me BUT hello NO ONE is going to CARE about me and LOVE me more than I love myself! In the past 2 months I've been subjected to various testings and different doctors and now when finally after NINE LONG HORRIBLE MONTHS I've been finally diagnosed they want me to seek second opinion!! As horrible as Cancer is I was relieved that FINALLY someone could diagnose me and spare me the 11 painkillers a day and dreadful pain I was going through and doctors telling me "We don't know"!

*At the first hospital:
-6 doctors from 3 different fields
-2 muscle histologists

*2nd 3rd opinion from a world renown doctor in Germany and Kuwait.

They could NOT diagnose me..

*Let me break it down for you, I've had the following tests done to reach Cancer:
- Near to 30 times of full blood tests
- Hip ultra sound
- 8 X-Rays
- 2 MRI Scans for back
- 1 MRI scan for head
- 1 CT Scan
- 1 PET Scan

1 Muscle aspiration
1 Core muscle needle biopsy
1 Removal of full lymph node from neck (cut)
1 Removal of full node from thigh (cut)
1. And finally the MOST painful of all Bone Marrow biopsy

*Treatment wise I have a team of doctors on my case:
1. Professor, Head of the Gastrointestinal, Lymphoma, and Hodgkin's Disease
1. Medical Oncologist
1. Clinical oncologist
1. Haematologist
1. Pathologist
1. Radiologist
2. Registrar Doctors
1. A Specialist nurse that is on speed dial that I can speak to 24/7 to answer any query.
1. Therapist

Stage 4 Hodgkin's Lymphoma

ABVD Chemotherapy, 12 sessions for 6 months..
20 pills a day..

And I already had 1 chemotherapy session.. I WILL NOT SEEK SECOND OPINION! Knowing its cancer is a million times better than NOT KNOWING what it is! So assuming all the above information is incorrect and I've been misdiagnosed I AND ONLY I AM TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR MY MEDICAL CHOICES!! I do not want to fucking hear ONE more person utter the word SECOND opinion to me! I don't care what you think I care about what I've been subjected to and it was HELL. So kindly respect my choice if you please and back off..


Dont.Dwell said...

Your choice is respected, oo u have every right to stick to that diagnosis l2nch sawaitay kl ily 3alaich oo akthar :)

bs look at it mn another point of view... they might find out ina ily feech something way less severe than cancer,

rabee iy5afef 3alaich ur pain wynawr 6ereejch inshalla

Alya said...

I always hear the phrase "el tashkhee9 ni9 il 3ilaj" and I think that's so true. Its a relief of sorts to know that what you're going through "has a name".

I'm not going to talk a lot or say anything that someone hasn't said already. I'm just going to say that my cousin is getting treatment for Hodgkin's disease. She was at Stage 4 when she was diagnosed, and thankfully the cancer is in remission now. It's been a while, and it's a ver hard battle. But it can be done. I've seen her fight it. I hope and pray you will do the same.

Allah ishafeech ya rab.

Anonymous said...




christina/ohio said...

It is easier to know what is wrong and know what to fight than it is to be left wondering. You sound like you have a team of doctors who are fighting with you. Save your energy for fighting it and don't let other people's opinions get to you. :)

Q80thug said...

your poor family is basically bargaining: bargaining that by getting a second opinion and further tests might result into a less serious/ more treatable illness.

i think by the number of doctors and procedures you present the unlikelihood that its not cancer. tell them to live with it like you did (and even if still didnt then just pretend) its for their own good. they need to be the persons with the strongest hearts and uplifting spirits that you draw your help from.

Fajer said...

Do you know whats even worse than ppl telling you te7tajain a second opinion? Laiman eyonech faj2a egolonlech "flana got cured from cancer le2anna kalat 6a7aleb. Gamat elyom ethani chan el cancer ero7." And the stories go on and on and on and on... We ALL know fe ashya2 that increase immune system bss it takes so much energy to etjamleen elkel, oo Wayed nass ra7 egolonlech, "jarbayy this? jarbayy that..." oo ull LOSE SO much energy trying to explain to them that fee a BIG ASS list of professionals giving you medical advice.

Na9ee7ti, if ur gonna let them get to you, ra7 tet3ebeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!!!! So just smile and nod. JUST NOD and move along. Lata3been nafsech... Focus ur energy on regaining ur strength.

Lots of love;*

the boudoir. said...

Second opinion shmecond opinion! You've been through more than enough wallah ya36eech il3afya 3la quwat ilta7amul!
Izyada 3ala your medications: irqay nafsich kilyom o let ur dear mother tigralich 3ala mai o shirbay mina maku a7la mn hal shay and from ur mom no other whose with u o feels for u.Tiwakilay 3ala allah. Allah y7afthich

wet knickers said...

hey u!
hope you are feeling better!
it must be so hard to go through what u are going through and no one can know how u feel.
just remember! people care about u! people suggest that because they care! and they hurt for u..

i can imagine how it must make u feel - and if you have been diagnosed with an illness as serious as cancer, its highly unlikely they would've made a mistake about that.

on that note - meow! ;p
try to stay light hearted - stress is the last thing u need!! ;p

nosa said...

i hope ur doing better.. but reading about how hard it ws to diagnose ur situation.. i have 1 thing to suggust.. a shai5 to read on u.. just make sure its not 3ain ( 7sd ) or se7er.. coz a hell lot of cases turn out to be just that n u dont have to go through all the medical stuff to get cured.. plus always egri 3ala nfsech.. its the best 3elaj 4 everything