They killed me this afternoon they literally ripped me to pieces.. I was dreading the bone marrow biopsy because even before having cancer I knew it is the MOST difficult one.. So all day my heart was literally about to jump out of my chest and I couldn't be calmed down.
Before the procedure they gave me a sedative to calm me down, morphine to tolerate the pain, and double amount of local anaesthetic. Mother wanted to hold my hand through it but I had her kicked out and got a nurse instead.. I knew she wouldn't be able to see me being tortured without punching the doctor in her face mid procedure..
Was it painful???? Wow there are no words on this planet can make me explain how painful it was.. They killed me. They shredded me. They ripped my heart and soul out of its place :( I cried and screamed like a motherfucker so loud that the whole floor gathered outside my room. My screams made everyone cry from my mother, to passing by visitors in ward, to the nursing staff both female and male. Even the doctor who was taking the samples was telling the nurse I hate doing this procedure, the woman was near to tears.
After the torture of this biopsy I don't think anything in life could ever hurt again..digging and ripping out my insides while I'm awake.. Well what could top that....
Forgive me lord but during it I just couldn't help for a split second question why u would torture already sick people with this. I'm sorry for having such thought but it really was painful. I hope God forgives me..
Alf il7amdilah 3ala kil 7al..