Sunday, 15 June 2014

What is Chemo Brain?




Frustration. Confusion. Sense of loss. Jumble.

Chemo brain chemo brain how I hate thee. Three and a half years into remission and I'm still suffering from Chemo Brain (Cognitive impairment) . It's made life quite difficult especially since I had a photographic memory. First months after chemo it was worse, I couldn't remember anything, including names of family members. It's improved a lot since those days but I'm still suffering.

Words get jumbled in my head, I think of a word but associate it with different meaning. I cannot remember anything I do after I do it. Mid-conversations I forget what I was talking about. Concentrating has become more difficult than ever. But the worst is the blanking, my mind goes completely blank, like a grey/white cloud descends upon it and I completely blank out. Becomes difficult to string words along for 10 seconds or so. I simple forget. I feel at a loss, I have no means of communication till the cloud lifts. Mental paralysis.

What I hate most is when people say 'oh yes I have memory problems too exactly like you're describing' NO YOU FUCKING DON'T because you haven't taken chemotherapy and it hasn't fried your brain and you don't suffer from Chemo Brain so shut the fuck up and go read a book or play memory enhancement games to improve your memory.

They say some survivors experience chemo brain worse than others, some completely recovery and some will permanently suffer .

So far, I'm still suffering.



5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Balance your spiritual energy and get in harmony with your soul by practicing these Radha-Krishna meditations.


Sri Gita Govinda
-A book written in the 12th century, this is a description of the intimate loving affairs of Radha and Krishna
http://www.mediafire.com/view/keqr4lqp7wr1rru/Sri_Gita_Govinda.pdf

Govinda Lilamrta
-An 400 year old book which poetically describes the eternal daily pastimes of Radha and Krishna
http://www.mediafire.com/view/uhcuigauc6uqiei/Govinda_Lilamrita.pdf

Ananda Vrindavan Campu
-This is probably the most poetic and intimate portrayal of Sri Krsna’s life in Vrndavana that has ever been written.
http://www.mediafire.com/view/k9j3ldwbt17be3b/Ananda_Vmdavana_Campu.pdf

Prayers of Service to Radha and Krishna (Sankalpa Kalpadruma)
http://www.mediafire.com/view/lvkqsro3sbzm249/Visvanath_Cakravarti_Thakur_Sankalpa_Kalpadruma.pdf

Prema Samputa The Treasure Chest of Love
http://www.mediafire.com/view/mpbncdyt97nw0x7/Prema_Samputa_The_Treasure_Chest_of_Love.pdf


And the following four are taken from Visvanath Cakravarti's Camatkara Candrika, a 300 year old scripture that talks about the love meeting of Radha and Krishna:

The Meeting in the Box
http://www.mediafire.com/view/c81a7cp43n5v6aj/The_Meeting_in_the_Box.pdf

The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as a Female Doctor
http://www.mediafire.com/view/hgomrnem7829pda/The_Meeting_of_Sri_Krsna_Disguised_as_a_Female_Doctor.pdf

The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as a Female Singer
http://www.mediafire.com/view/gyuboduhn8dvdml/The_Meeting_of_Sri_Krsna_Disguised_as_a_Female_Singer.pdf

The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as Abhimanyu
http://www.mediafire.com/view/911h9qoxn4ca027/The_Meeting_of_Sri_Krsna_Disguised_As_Abhimanyu.pdf


And lastly, we have the supreme scripture which describes the 24 hour daily loving affairs of Radha and Krishna in Vrindavan, called Bhavanasara Sangraha. This book is now available on Amazon for Kindle, for only $3.49

http://www.amazon.com/Bhavanasara-Sangraha-Mahanidhi-Swami-ebook/dp/B00CW9H4DI/ref=la_B00J2M5LAQ_1_15?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1402209195&sr=1-15

Here is a 41 page sample of Bhavanasara Sangraha:
http://www.mediafire.com/view/t4gsse2d4sw0f8p/Sample_of_Bhavanasara_Sangraha.pdf

The above book can also be read on your PC using Amazon Kindle for PC, download here for free:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kcp_pc_mkt_lnd?docId=1000426311

Anonymous said...

There is too much hate hidden in your heart. Vomit it out!

You don't need it and neither do you deserve it.

Learnz Studyz said...

Thanks for sharing it is very useful to maintain my attitude.

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