Monday, 2 August 2010

Day 80!

- Dear GOD this chemo was BAD!! From the get go it was screwed!! On tuesday they where so concerned with my breathing that they had to check my lungs before chemo because 1 of the 4 chemos that I take causes lung damage and doctors were freaking out that it did :/ So had to do X-Ray and Ct-Scan on the spot. Thankfully they were cleared. Yet was too late for chemo on tues so had to take it next day! Btw u don't want to know how my mother and aunts were freaking out while waiting for the lung results :/ (that took 7 hours)

- Chemo was meant at 9am till 11am on wed! Instead was from 9am till 3pm!!!!!!!! In total I spent 13 hours in 2 days just to take my fucking 6th session!!!! Anyways, I arrive there and apparently doctor ordered an ECG for my heart cuz was beating way too high day before, so did that had to wait till I saw him to be cleared for chemo and so I was. Finally I take chemo and wait wait for it TEN minutes later my throat starts closing up and I can't speak nor swallow!! My nurse runs out of room and comes back with 3 other nurses, an oxygen mask, and gets doc on phone. Within seconds doctor gives me 2 allergy injections cuz FUCK knows something caused my throat to close up but they don't know what! 30 mins later we resume chemo..

- Does it end there NO ofcourse NOT! Come time for the 4th type of chemo, it takes usually an hour to finish but noooooo my veins decide to act up and slow it down to an hour and half!! Causing me to become EXTRA exhausted! As if am done! When done with chemo doc gives me a new medicine through same process to strengthen my bones because cancer and steroids have fucked them. And that medicine my dears is literally screwing me to hell since wed.

- I have never experienced such horrible chemo, having it and after it. I'm still s0 s00 tired and feeling like hell like no one can imagine :(

- My tuesday chemo package is absolutely amazing and beyond amazing! Thanx to the trio, Danderma, and bunch of u lovely bloggers! They compiled a beautiful calender with inspirational notes for each day.. I'll show ya it when I got more energy to take pics..

- Oh on wed my heart rate was at 130 so docs have referred me to cardiologist to do tests cuz it aint normal! So yes every organ is being a bitch and acting up and I'm so tired and energyless and its getting much tougher with more chemo am taking :(

- I am in dire need of extra prayers and wishes that it gets easier and not harder because I really can't take much more of this :(


Anony said...


Lost said...

ugh... you broke my heart.. i can't imagine.. no words of inspiration here im sorry, except i promise u that i will pray for u and i will ask everybody i know to do so as well...

allah y3eenich w ygawmich bel salama ya rab, inshallah soon all of this will just all be a memory, a bump in the road of ur life ;/ inshallah

Well Wisher said...

Hug!! You can do it bithn Allah, we are all here praying for you non-stop.. Inshallah ya rab this is the worst you'll ever experience and the next days become easier ya rab!

Journal Entries said...

3asallah ehawin 3alaich fourme =*
ur in my prayers wallah..

atoona said...

they'll be a time you'll look back at this and see how truly amazing you are :** smAlla 3alaich, rabee y7afthech!
we're still praying for you!

falantan said...

ya Rabbi il3atheem ilJeleel yhawin 3alaich.

في صحيح مسلم عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه أنه سمع رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول: "ما يصيب المؤمن من وصب ولا نصب ولا سقم ولا حزن حتى الهم يهمه إلا كفر الله به سيئاته"

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