Saturday, 8 May 2010

thank u :*

Thank you to everyone. I don't have the energy nor the heart to thank each one separately because am still well.. shocked.. but honestly you have no idea how much you're all helping..

I escaped from the hospital :p well not really I was meant to stay in from yesterday till monday for my scans at least.. but I cut a deal with the doc to let me out today and I'll go back tomorrow noon.. I'm very dizzy like super dizzy I can't stay focused and try to sleep as much as i can.. I have a new friend there, he's a male nurse his name is Lucas.. he's a pretty boy and super nice to me.. though my cousin thinks he's hitting on me hehe..

I have to do a 5th and most painful biopsy on monday.. bone marrow.. last month i did one under local and was HELL and painful. and on tuesday I had 3 done under general anaesthetic. and still in pain.. but the one on monday i must be awake so local with some sedation.. I'm gona get tortured from the pain I know it..

By the way if you don't have the heart to read this i suggest you come back in six months inshallah when am cured because I will pour my heart and soul here till I get better.. cuz family and friends SUCK cuz am comforting them and making them feel better not the opposite.. they are a mess.. i loved them all so much..

I'm only dreading one thing about the chemo therapy, silly enough not the physical pain cuz I don't wanna think about that i know will be hell.. But I'm scared of losing my hair.. I know it will grow back but I like my hair I cant imagine myself without it.. maybe after my first chemo next week I'll cut it shorter and when it starts to fall I'll shave it off.. My God I don't know how to cope with this..

I'm worried about my mother she's.. well you can imagine what she's going through.. I'm her only child.. Alah y9abirha o ya7fith'ha inshallah..

Ohh and if you thought i was bitchy before just wait and see am gona be worse :p at least now I have an excuse :p

Okay seriously please pray for me that I don't feel much pain.. I'm too fragile for this.. physically, , mentally, and emotionally.. Alf il7amdillah 3ala kil 7al :)

14 comments:

eleventh.st said...

My dear man utd buddy!
I am so sorry to hear about all the pain you have to endure..Inshalla soon you will be as good as new!

Allah i3eenich oo inshalla igawmich bilsalma! (as you can see i am not very good with these things!)

Our prayers are with you!

cat-eyezz said...

7abeebte ur so strong and i know what u mean about comforting other people when it should be the other way around.. ne6ray 3alaihom w it will turn around inshalah.. and about the pain i cant tell u anything, bas i can completely relate with the feeling.. lanna ana aroo7 a7ef ag3ad 15 mins mekhtar3a gabel la she starts in.. bas in all fairness i have a monobrow so maybe y7egli ;p no on a serious note nothing can take away fear of pain aw the feeling of it the only thing thats worth it is that tadreen ena kela ajer 3end rabbech, and it really is more than anyone can imagine.. i'm sure u have so many people praying for u yawmeyan fa inshalah that willease the pain <3 w the most thing i admire about u is that rathya b2amr alah w mashalah ur thankful and satisfied and thats very very admirable mashalah.. it will be worth it in the end inshalah.. and lol about the hair 3ad tadreen when hair grows back from chemo loss it comes in thicker and fuller and much better than it used to be w awal ma it grows in a36eech khal6at that make it grow so frikkin fast literally like 3 inches in under a month faaa dont worry we got ur back;p atleast u have a chance of trying out the short do's go crazy with the haircuts;p ana for one i'll be reading each and every post u have w feel free to bitch ur heart out ham were not going anywhere..

shoosha said...

فاير برننغ أون ذي دانس فلور

:::ShoSho::: said...

Habibti we are all with you :*** Inshallah you will be cured very soon.. I know how you feel about the hair I don't think any woman likes to lose her hair but it will grow back inshallah .. most important is that you should know, i think you already know, how many people love you and are with you.. family friends.. etc..

Be strong :*** and inshallah you won't be in as much pain for the upcoming test as you think..

Anonymous said...

You are in my prayers.

Average.Q8i said...

I Love U ..

Anonymous said...

I've never met anyone with as much strength as I feel you have. You will beat this and you have TONS of supporters behind you. Oh, and about the hair, you can be the next Kuwaiti Sinead O'Conner, VERY beautiful without hair...and it grows back, think of it as a different look for a different part of your life, one that you will overcome...be strong, have faith. We are with you.

Traveleer said...

it is shocking...
bas i only wanna say allah eshafech o esahil 3alaich darling.. i hope u get better soon

the boudoir. said...

allah yashfeech wiy9abrich 3ala what ur goin thru..seriously i dont think anything anyone says can make it any easier..just b urself...pour ur heart out here i know its better than doin so wth ur friends..bas mashallah i noticed ur too strong and kind of accepting..and this is the perfect cure inshallah..im sorry bout the pain ur goin thru bas ghamthat 3ain wiymur ilwagt..about ur hair..some people dont lose that much bas khalay hal shay ibalich b optimistic..if ur that worried bout it fi akthar mi 7al..and act the way u want..matinlamain..my heart and prayers r with u:*

Anonymous said...

its a bit errie how how strangers can connect, been following our witty blog for some time now - honey please do not give up & forget about the hair (it's only decoration) enshallah when ur all better I will tell you about good hair vitamins to take after you are done with treatment. Also, when this reality shock is over you can finally get a tattoo that says "survivor"

now dear, chin up, paint your toe nails whichever color your heart desires. Wish i was coming to london to get you cupcakes & leban.

XOXO

A Journal Entry said...

we love u and we r praying for u =*

Anonymous said...

i dont really know you but i really like your positive attitude .. keep it up

Anonymous said...

i dont really know you but i really like your positive attitude .. keep it up

Smart CoOKie said...

Allah ykoon fi 3onik o yshfiky sweety.
And hey you might not lose your entire hair. My friend didn't. It just got thing, so she cut it like a boy and then she was hot as hell.
And I'm sure you'll look super hot with or without it XOXO.