Saturday, 10 April 2010

hell

I have never ever NEVER in my entire life felt pain like I felt today! I wouldn't even wish this pain on an enemy..

To begin with I was beyond terrified and my nerves were beyond shattered.. Come time for the procedure I was reassured that with the local anaesthetic I wouldn't feel much.. YA RIGHTTTT! All they said was I'd feel the anaesthetic injection and just some discomfort.. Aha ahaa bull shit.. I felt pain like I have NEVER felt.. I didn't feel it in my body I felt it my soul.. I felt my soul was being ripped out of my body.. and as if that wasn't enough I had to go through that ripping feeling 3 times. And each time was worse than the other.. I cried like a child.. thank God for the nurse who was holding my hand through it.. i crushed her hands :/ poor thing I wouldn't let go of her :( She was truly an angel..

The doc who did the procedure is one of the docs on my case.. He's so arrogant that I wanna smack him! I'm all for being realistic and telling me up front how I will feel but this goddamn doc has a knack for scaring me and telling me the worst even when its not that bad :( For fuck sake can't ya just be a bit less terrifying! Hmm my heart rate is through the roof and blood pressure below low.. they wouldn't let me leave the hospital for 3 hours till my pressure got better.. it didn't so I just left.. i feel like I have been beaten with a baseball bat.. i just wish this would be over with :(

Oh yesterday I was in SOOO much pain that I took strong painkillers and I got so dizzy in the middle of the night that I was about to collapse and I hit the wall and cut the inside of my lip and it started bleeding :D

13 comments:

ZoN said...

salamat ma tshofen shar sis
ajir w 3afya inshallah..
which one was it lumbar puncture or bone marrow aspiration, or is there even more painful procedure than these?

Anony said...

:(

FourMe said...

zon:
Alah ysalmik zoona.. lower back muscle aspiration.. it hurt like hell :(
==

anon:
:( x infinity

Glitter said...

Oh 7beebtii i'm so sorry you had to go through all of that :(

Salamat
o ma tshoofeen shr
:*

inshaAllah mako more procedures??

Anonymous said...

You are in my prayers

Stuck in Lab said...

I wanna tell you that I sympathize with you and that I feel your pain, but when my jaw was sawed completely off my skull and moved to another position I didn't feel a thing, so I dont know what kind of pain you felt.

If that pain is similar to the pain I felt months later after my nerves started making the right connections again, then I know how bad that feels. I had so much vicodin I literally slept for days.

In that case I sympathize with you and I know how it feels.

Stuck in Lab said...

PS. What doesn't kill you will sure as fucking hell make you stronger. Take it from me ;)

PPS. General anesthesia is bitchin'! (except when you wake up and slap the surgeon by mistake ;r)

FourMe said...

glitter:
shar mayeech Alah ysalmich glitz :*
just one more mri and hopefully that's it..inshalaa no more.
==

anonymous:
thank you, much needed
==

cashew:
i'm not looking for sympathy nor compassion. each person has a different threshold of pain. what might kill me, tickles u and vice versa.

sorry u had to go through all that, sounds horrible.

Stuck in Lab said...

I wasn't offering ... Its this nagging thing people feel for each other. Its human nature to want to comfort those in pain.

Its not pity from my side nor a sign of weakness from yours. Its just human nature. Its a bitch, isn't it?

But you're right. People have different thresholds and what might tickle you may in fact kill me. However, this does not invalidate my point about becoming stronger when you pass such obstacles with flying colors.

Either ways, im just glad you're ok. And just because I give off all that macho crap about not feeling pain (and acting like a jerk) does not mean I dont care. Im just in one of those dark phases where even when I am about to explode from my own problems, I try to comfort those around me. Sadly is sometimes comes off as me not caring and being somewhat of a bastard, but you know I mean well.

FourMe said...

cashew:
oh bitch it is :/
no worries deary we're all going through our own shit.. if I was in a better state of mind I would have offered a listening ear but I'm topped up as it is.. try to vent or else it'll fuck ya up.. I know what am talkin about here unfortunately, let it out asap..

marry said...

Blogs are so informative where we get lots of information on any topic. Nice job keep it up!!
_____________________________

Science Dissertation

Snow said...

I hope everything goes well and they find out what's wrong, I just found your blog today and must say I love your style! Good luck with everything...Kathy (Snow)

FourMe said...

snow:
thank you dear, very kind of you :)