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i'm suffocating i feel i'm trapped in a box that i cannot escape.. i'm exhausted.. everything in me aches..i'v progressed to taking 11 painkillers daily but today was extra pain so i took 12.. i'm shocked that i still haven't overdosed.. and the pain keeps getting worse.. and people tell me try POSITIVE thoughts! how how?! how can i be positive when i'm in pain 24/7.. when constantly there is something or the other aching.. God help those who are in worse pain than i am.. if i can barely tolerate this how can they tolerate more..

the not knowing part is more horrible than the pain.. ya rab er7amny eb ra7mtik..