I wish you could read my mind or for a split second could feel what am going through. Only then you would truly understand what I want to say instead of having me struggle for words.
I'm tired of explaining it as hell, painful, and torture.. Well its much more than that a million times.. I've hit rock bottom.. I've hit bottom of all bottoms.. I'm so near to finishing the treatment that I can't be bothered to finish it.. I'm running on empty.. I need to be motivated..
A while back I had it in me to fight this and my body was stronger in attacking it and responding to treatment.. But since I've given up and been so hopeless my body is kinda given up as well.. My immune is down, not showing responsive signs, harder to take chemo, veins impossible to find, pain escalated, and much more..
I don't have that urge to fight it.. I'm too exhausted and too tired to fight it anymore.. But I need to. I have to. I MUST fight it with every inch in me..
I don't know what I want from you people reading this.. Actually I do.. I need you to motivate me somehow to help me get that fighting urge that I lost along the way.. I need to beat it and kick its ass.. I need your support my darling strangers..