-It has been 3 months (92 Days!!) since my 1st chemo session! In those 3 months I've been to hell and back. I've been through s0 much that I just cannot believe I was and still able to endure it!! The hell of Chemo is like no other! You think when its injected into u is bad?! Oh think again! Its the days afterwards that are HELL jahanim zamhareer.. Those days make u lose everything, from hope to faith to manners to the will of living.. That's how bad the days after Chemo are :( And with each session its getting worse! I want to scream from the hell that I am living in.. But I can't its pointless, instead I've spent the past week crying 4 or 5 times a day.. What else can I do?!? How much weaker can I get !! Yaa that's for the people who think I'm strong!
-Last year exactly on the 1st day of ramadan I was woken up by the MOST excruciating pain EVER at 7am and taken to hospital. Since that day I have been living on painkillers, not a day passed by that I didn't take anything between 5 to 13 painkillers a day!! I've suffered for exact whole year with aches and pains!! And not mentioning Cancer eating my body and spreading all over.. I've been sick for a whole year and probably longer and no one could diagnose me till 3 months ago! I'm just lucky that I didn't die before they diagnosed me! Alf il7amdilallah.
-Anyone who thinks their life is tough because they can't get or do what they want should probably think again and have a look at my life and people worse than me to appreciate the blessing that you're living in! That people like me would kill for :(
-This is the first time EVER since I was 6 or 7 that I don't fast ;( bamoot mn elqahar :(( how can I not fast :( yes I have an excuse and will fast some other time inshallah but for now its killing me :((
-I'm tired and getting worse.. My body is becoming very weak and not able to cope with so much chemo. Last week had both heart and lung tested, and yesterday lungs tested again. Got stomach ulcer from swallowing all pills, and seeing orthopaedic doc next month because my bones are getting screwed..
-I hope you're all remembering me before fu6oor and tad3ooly. Listen up, I want a custom made da3wa. Yes 6arar o ytshara6 does come to mind, but hey kaifi that's what I want u people to pray for me. So here it is pray:
1. God gives me the strength to finish chemo, and cancer continues to respond.
2. I don't get physically worse and nothing else goes wrong.
3. My tumours disappear.
4. I don't go bald and keep the last little hair I have left.
5. Cancer goes away and NEVER comes back.
6. Give my mum good health and cure her from all her illnesses.
7. God cures every sick person in the world.
Yes a long list but those are alll a MUST! So please when you have a moment pray for me cuz jad ta3abt o mafeeni shada ba3ad :(