I want to throw myself on the floor and kick and scream like a toddler who hasn't been fed for a month.. I want to scream and yell ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH!! Enough with the little hints, plans, insinuations, and starting conversations with "Inshala when you get married..."! I don't wanna motherfucking hear it.. Fair enough the nagging has been taken down by a mile but the random mention gets to me.. I cannot give them the deaf ear anymore.. Can't we just not bring the fucking M word up EVER!
Fair enough I understand that mother wants to have her only daughter married off and living in the ultimate fairytale but I cannot do so if I don't feel its right.. Every couple of months we go through this where her and her sisters start with the "when will she ever say yes" talk.. What's worse she whispers to them on the phone thinking I cannot hear! hehe seriously its adorable because they are terrified of me throwing a fit at them.. for example today she was doing the whole whispering thing and I told her mother I can still hear you just wait for couple of minutes and I'm leaving then you can get to talk about me all you want.. she laughed it off the threw me the phone to hear her sister giggling and telling me when will you marry? fuck me how about NEVER.. that was on the tip of my tongue but I held it back..
Why why whyyyyyyyyyyy don't they see or understand that I cannot marry a random person! I need understanding, I need compatibility, I need bloody passion, and I refuse to get that AFTER marriage or during the "get to know each other" phase.. I won't do it I've been refusing and I will refuse till the day I die.. They just have to accept the fact that I will not marry ever or till I do it my way.. fuck it this is giving me a headache..