See SEE this is why I hate going on my meds.. I become girly I become fucking girly and emotional over anything and anything.. Its like someone opened the floodgates of emotions.. I fucking hate it.. I watched Greys bitching Anatomy episode 14 and became a mess over fucking fictional characters! I felt the life being sucked out of my heart over a fucking character, can I be anymore silly! I cannot cannot do this I cannot be this goddamn girly I cannot be so soft I cannot be so emotional.. the tiniest of tiny things hit me to the core.. I WORKED VERY FUCKING HARD ON TOUGHENING MY MOTHERFUCKING CORE THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH!!! I cannot have things weakening me.. I hate weakness.. I cannot be this mess I cannot be this fucking emotional I cannot control it.. I feel like a little girl and it feels pathetic I feel naked and stripped to the core.. If I stop my meds I suffer and if I take them I become this vulnerable girl.. I cannot be vulnerable I don't know how to do vulnerable.. I cannot be girly I cannot be!! it is simply unacceptable..