Wednesday, 3 February 2010
i lost my temper and lost it bad..
i got so angry that i unconsciously started smacking something
i spaced out.. i was literally acting without feeling or thinking
i could just hear myself yelling and bashing at something in my hand
this is the 2nd time in my life i reach this extreme point of anger
my temper is really bad.. i scared someone
as a result i gave myself a sever migraine.. one of those can't see light nor hear any noises
i had to stay in a pitch dark room in utter silence and 2 strong painkillers
i think one day i will self destruct..
there is really no point in writing this
i lost control of myself and i hate doing that
i got angry at something trivial .. but i know it was just me blowing up over many things
i get angry but never take it out physically apart from one time before this.. i punched something
and now this..
i'm ashamed of myself
i need to calm down or i will do some internal damage to myself..
this is not healthy nor normal
calm people are lucky.. even people with bad tempers are lucky
i'm cursed.. my extreme temper is a curse.. it will seriously hurt me one day.. i know it..
i cannot control myself..
i cannot control my anger
i cannot control my temper..