Monday, 25 January 2010

get lost

If you're looking for chirpy posts I suggest you come back in a week or month or God knows when because there won't be any here any time soon.. As if I'm not bothered as it is people find ways to annoy me even more! Really do I look like I need it?! I become UNBELIEVABLY pissed when someone says something thinking they know me and know how I feel when they know fuck all! She could tell I was bothered so she asks me what's wrong and me being me the answer is always nothing is wrong I'm perfectly fine.. Apparently I wasn't convincing enough so she asks the following which makes my anger slam the roof..

"Is it because of your Ex? Are you unhappy because of that? You haven't moved on is that the reason?"

Oh boy did that make me lose it! People still assume that I care about him! I wasn't gona talk about this ever again but hell I might as well.. No one believes me but fuck'em.. I have NO feelings whatsoever for that man, I have literally deleted him from my memory.. At one point I truly cared for him even cared about him and his well being over mine.. I cared about him so much that I kept tolerating SO much bullshit that I wouldn't take from anyone else.. When he wanted a second chance I gave it to him because I didn't want to live in "what if".. mind you deep down I knew it was a mistake but I didn't listen to myself.. When things went wrong once again that was the last straw, that was it.. I gave him more chances than I have given any other person in this world.. And I will not deny that after it was over I was literally fucked because I couldn't forgive myself for putting ME through this again.. As for him, he was out of my life for good.. from that day he meant NOTHING to me.. he was as good as dead.. hell couple of months ago I saw him and I felt absolutely nothing.. Yet people around me still think that I care about him because I haven't moved on.. they don't understand why I keep turning people down and not "dating" and all that crap..

Just because I'm not seeing anyone else it does NOT mean that I still care about him!! I have a reason.. a reason that I didn't feel the need to broadcast to every person that asks me why I'm still single and why I turn people away.. the day I decided it was over with him I made myself a promise that for 1 year exactly I would turn down every opportunity that came my way because I didn't want anyone else to make me forget him I didn't want to replace him with next one and the next one and the next one.. I always take the more difficult route in life I have a knack for torturing myself.. I wanted to get over him by myself and I DID I am absolutely and completely over him.. and I stayed single, Feb will make it a year.. So when someone assumes that I'm still bothered and upset over him it really pisses the hell out of me! What should I do?! Get a tattoo on my forehead that says I'm over him or start dating any man that comes my way just to prove it to them?!! Give me some fucking credit and stop fucking assuming that you know me better than I know myself.. Sometimes I really wish I can just say Fuck Off to some people..

17 comments:

Anony said...

@@

Anony said...

Who?

serenade said...

take all the time you need,, your blog won't be your blog without these infamous rants,,

but honestly.. 3afya 3alaych for making a decision and sticking to it,, xx

identity said...

why dont you? if they really pissed u off why dont u just tell them to fuck off yemken u will end up having a nice feeling after telling them that hahahah...

7aneen said...

Don't let anyone control ur attitude.

So they asked a stupid q? 6af! Shut them up and don't allow them to interfere in ur life again. You don't need to prove urself or explain urself to anyone at all.

I'm so glad ur this strong now! I gain strength from ur blog, keep it up :D

Danderma said...

I sincerely hope inah before you wrote this rant you have given a similar preview to the one who asked you about it...

*hugs 4y*

write ele tabeen this is your blog it is for you to write not the Entertainment Tonight Channel nor it is the cirque de soleil!

welle mo 3ajbah la yegra... period!

FourMe said...

anony:
who who?
==

serenade:
thank u darling.. finally someone sees that i did the right thing..
==

identity:
i might seem rude, foul mouthed, and even vulgar to people who read this blog but I'm not this way with people I behave and have manners.. telling someone to fuck off when they seem concerned in a way or the other is wrong..

I'm only myself in this blog and handful of really close people..
==

7aneen:
any other day I would let it go but these days I cannot tolerate a word from anyone.. the slightest things make me go overboard..

ohh so sweet of u to say such thing.. thank u dear :)
==

dande:
unfortunately I didn't.. cuz if i start I won't shut up and I'd be taking my anger out on the wrong person.. I just gave the usual no I'm fine response..

its not about entertaining people.. but everyone has their own problems and really no one wants to read some random girl bitching.. it was just a heads up..

a hug won't do..i need a shoulder to cry on :(

identity said...

NO u don't seem rude, foul mouthed, and even vulgar to people who read this blog

bil3ax ur loved and respected by the people who read this blog well ur loved and respected by me and that I'm sure off:D

FourMe said...

identity:
hun I am all these things and if u think otherwise u should watch a football match with me and you'll see what am talking about :p I can be a very nice girl but I have a very very mean streak..

thank u sweetheart:)

Faith said...

Just laugh at them Fourme would you.. I mean mashalla you’re even stronger than I thought, get amused and next time they ask you can give them a blank look that says get lost without uttering it.
And hey I don’t care if you’re posts were chirpy or not. I’d read anything you write even if it was ten pages of fuming curses.

Anonymous said...

So... Feb. u say hmm...

Feb..
Feb...
5 days left?
do u want to hook up after 5 days? ;) :P
Hahahaah good luck with ur "love life" ;p

FourMe said...

faith:
i opt for giving a simple answer and having my blood boil to hell.. that's how I've always been can't change it :/

hehe thank u daarling :* that made me laugh cuz i can imagine myself writing a post like that :p
==

anonymous:
ya roughly feb, i don't remember the exact date to be honest but around that time..

though thank u for the sarcastic sentiments..

Anony said...

ola!

ma6ala3 kil hatah men mobile!

bs 6aal3li get lost!

so i thought who? ;p

Anonymous said...

Wrong timing, right person.

FourMe said...

anony:
ya bb's tend to not show posts..
==

anonymous:
didn't get what u mean.. rephrase?

doona said...

hmph

i dont even wanna go there

bas you know i can relate, 9a7?

Anonymous said...

...... ........
. .. .. .... ... ... .... ..