Saturday, 9 January 2010

Addicted to Why


God grant me the SERENITY to
accept the things I cannot change;

COURAGE to change the things I can,

and WISDOM to know the difference..

~The Serenity Prayer


Hello my name is FourMe and I'm addicted to torturing myself. I go over and over things in my mind like it is set on a continuous loop.. At times I find myself screaming out loud "Enough".. The word WHY kills me.. I want to know why I did x thing or said x thing or why did so and so behave in such manner or why this and that happened.. I analyse and analyse till I literally feel my brain aching.. I try to control it but there are times where I cannot do so.. So I let my mind wonder in the "Why Land" till I exhaust myself..

There are many different forms of addiction from alcohol, work, shopping, shoe shopping, drugs, sex, gym, food, cutting, sports, and even those addicted to their ex's.. the list of addictions is endless.. Each person is addicted to a different thing.. Each person has their own drug which only that thing and that thing alone can make their head spiral out of control.. One way or the other we are all addicts..

What is your addiction?

24 comments:

Anony said...

You;*

;p

Abi afhaam postat ilfayer laish?? Sleep ya bent !!

Anonymous said...

Why, is ain't that bad. Combine it with its friends, what, how, when and where, you get a blast.

Two addictions I have, one is my first wife and other is not.

My second addiction has her own addictions. So, I inherit those addictions too.

Add approximately another 10 addictions, will ya.

1001Nights said...

We all ask ourselves Why habeebty. It's not such a bad thing, it's wise to ask that question. But sometimes we fail to realize that we go through our life with this sort of tunnel vision whereby we can only work our brain so much to figure out the reasons/logic behind things. We're only human, our brains are only human brains, and we simply don't have access to all knowledge - including knowledge of the events that happen in our own lives and why they happened and what's the REAL background picture. There's much more that we don't know than we do know. And that can be tough to accept if you think you're a relatively intelligent person who should be able to digest and absorb other people's behavior and your own and how events developed.

(ps thanks for making me think :) )

falantan said...

speaking of looping WHYs.

watch this, its hilarious:
LOUIS CK

Faith said...

:(

Danderma said...

hmmm

i am addicted to obsessing about things i cannot change and have no control over... illness life fate future death... etc. and since i have no control over any of them, i cannot really ensure they won't happen or stop them, fa i obsess even more...

i am addicted to pinkberry lel asaf... badly addicted b3d...


o i have a series of mini addictions. if i read a book i like i will be addicted. Then it will be a movie, or a tv show, or going to a place X, or playing a game Y, or cooking and eating something W... y3ni a never ending cycle :D

Smart CoOKie said...

I thought I was addiction free, but now I think I have the same annoying fucking obsession with WHY!

I can never stop thinking & analysing. Today I had a case presentation and I was nervous & it was very obvious & I got very defensive. But the doctor gave me the full mark. I know I deserved it cuz I worked real hard, but I could not just accept it and be happy. I'm still mad wondering maybe he gave it to me out of pity? maybe I don't deserve it? why did I make a complete fool out of myself? and the list go on and on and on and on. I WANT TO KILL MYSELF!

FourMe said...

anony:
*blushes* aste7y :p

darling the last time I slept like normal people was when I was 5 years old! my sleeping pattern is as odd as I am..
==

anonymous:
Oh "why" is bad.. hehehe my brain can barely handle why let alone its buddies. yes then I would most definitely become a nut.. oh wait! I already am one..

that's too many addictions for one person.. rehab is calling you..
==

1001nights:
not as much as the average person does.. that is the problem I don't know why x matters occur yet I rack my brain till either I lose sleep over it or space out while I'm around people or start screaming at myself like a weirdo.. Hun I must must know why or it eats me up alive.. I swear to u it literally rips me apart.. I must know a logical reason for every action.. I cannot simply accept without knowing why..

my pleasure :)
do tell what are your addictions?
==

falantan:
hehehe nice one!
==

faith:
ohh that face is a heartbreaker :/ don't tell me you're an ex addict?
==

dandee:
I block death out of my head.. its inevitable so I just don't go there.. those are in the hands of God, I don't question them cuz I know I would lose my mind if I do so..

I have a bunch of "mini" addictions too.. though I cured my shopping addiction :D cleaning is most definitely up there along with hell the list is too long to list :p

FourMe said...

smart cookie:
hahahha I used to do that back during school days! I still think my profs. gave me good marks cuz they like me and not because I deserve them!

dear join the cucko club :D

Anonymous said...

Yes.. rehab is a later stage when i actually inherit them.

Anonymous said...

Ya the word "why" is kinda bad...it really let's u regret many things in life...hate it...:P
My worst and biggest addiction is..well.. I love to hurt myself..its somethin I tried to quite it but I couldn't...many times iv cut my hand with cutter and the marks r still there...=(....really bad addiction...

Average.Q8i said...

La Tes2aloune 3ala 7alee; 7alee Nakad Fe Nakad Kella ..

3ayesh Kama El Lu3'z Bain el Nas; O El Lu3'z Ma7ad 3araf 7alla ..

FourMe said...

Anonymous:
Why wait.. Preventative measures are in order, cure from the addiction itself in order to prevent from inheriting extra addictions..
=

Anonymous:
Why is a bitch :/

Oh dear that's not good! Harming yourself physically will never satisfy you and it will lead you to harming yourself more once you cannot reach that euphoric state of mind that one reaches from any addiction.. I hope one day you can get over it..
=

Average:
Etshawig mn edish 3arth :p

serenade said...

i have the same addictions as danderma,,, which explains my sleeping problems,, they're as odd as you fourme ;p

whenever you have those why moments,, write them down and take it all out on a piece of paper or type it,,, once you've gotten the whole rant out of your system and you're done ti7il6iming,, inshalla you'll feel better,, that's what i do ;p

serenade said...

just realized that i'm also addicted to my iphone :$

FourMe said...

serenade:
hun writing down rants doesn't help me.. cuz I start bashing the keyboard like I'm at war.. I'm the type that needs to scream and confront the person that bothered me or I won't rest.. I just keep boiling up till I do.. that's part of the wonderful psychotic temper that I have..

As for the why moments.. well I just cant fix that one.. I've come to terms with it and just accepted the fact that I question everything..

these damn phones are bloody addictive! its their convenience that's addictive..

Anonymous said...

That addiction i cannot sacrifice, even though i have to inherit a million more by inheriting it, i am in for it.

Anonymous said...

I am almost convinced. I must turn another stone and then am all given and all taken

Danderma said...

4y it's hard to block death and fate and illness out of your mind when you are surrounded with it...

i remembered my worst obsession...

when i see something, o want to say el 7amd le allah wel sheker... i cannot cannot say it once... lazim X10 times

i wash my hands 300 times aday. I do not touch surfaces or mathalan doors and elevator buttons outside my house ilaa with kleenex or tissues... i cannot open faucets illa with tissues as well... more like a mania ... constant ongoing mania...

Anonymous said...

That is called OCD. You gotta check it up Danderma.

FourMe said...

anonymous:
your addiction is too far advanced.. getting cured is the safest bet..
==

danderma:
that's qathaa w qadar we have no power over it.. faith is the only way to get your mind over it..

danddee we're so alike! washing of the hands has been a nightmare for me.. I wash and wash and wash.. anything I touch I go and wash afterwards, even at home.. kill me and don't give someones phone to hold or anything that someone has held for a while.. i feel like a gigantic germ after touching it :/

as for public hehe well lets say you'll always find tissues with me.. in every pocket and every bag you'll find tissues.. at times in my bra too :p I HATE holding things in public..

and I'm the worse person to go with to a restaurant.. I always manage to find something the food :/ i look and probe my food till I find things! its horrifying.. Once a waiter was literally gona smack me cuz I sent a teapot back cuz it smelled funny.. then the cups cuz they didn't look clean enough..

crap we really do need help..

mrayty said...

welcome to the torture-yourself-you-sadomasochist club =D

Danderma said...

4yyy

3ndena o 3ndich khair yakhty!

el dettol ma y6e7 min eedi.. el ma'3sala lazim itkon within my reach, el double dlaq ma y6ee7 min my feet... o b3dain hal awadem ele yefte7on el faucet with their dirty hands, wash hands, then close il faucet with the dirty hand again... y3ni shino il fayda matgoleen le? el wesakh rad rad...

ay help? the only help they give to ppl like us is maybe pills and breathing techniques... o pills will only numb your head and make you sleepy fa mo tharoree abdan.. ishwayat OCD ma ye2athe a7ad

FourMe said...

doona:
ohh honey i'm one of the founders ;)
==

dande:
hehehe 3ala goltich a lil OCD killed no one :p