Wednesday, 8 April 2009

the M word!

When it rains it pours.. and its pouring men! Seriously the more I refuse the more I get proposals :/ I know I shouldn't be complaining but I am.. So the latest is couple moments ago.. I had a feeling when I heard the whispering.. they are trying to lure me with his degree heheh seriously how cute is my family.. Apparently the dude is 32 years old and has a PhD in something or the other, religious, and overall a good person.. I declined instantly as always..

Does is it stop there? NO ofcourse not!! I was given the "you're 28 soon and drying up" talk with an addition to couple of old sayings about getting too many proposals and ending up a spinster :D I can't get my head around the arranged marriage idea.. I was asked what do you exactly want? What do you want in a man??

I have no fucking clue................ put aside physical appearances and lets talk about things that matter.. I think my list is way too long to even know where to begin from :/ All I know is that I want someone that gets me then comes all the rest..

What do you want in the man/woman that you want to marry?


ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

am i a freak for not demanding much?

i just want someone i can get along with!

Anonymous said...

Danaa :@ stupid BB 3ashreeen mara madre shesawe :@

Anonymous said...

Ana fe ad eaters o madre shelsalfa belthab6 :O a7ad ygoli shesalfaaaaaaaaa

Anonymous said...

Magareet el post bs gareet akher so'al ;p I guess u know my answer mo ?? D and R ;p looool

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

loooooool anonyyyyy!!

wallah am sorry mastaw3abt wela chan i reserved it for you =(

me thorry =(

zuz said...

a CALM understanding person who prays regularly,o la dayyen wayed wla open minded wayed!AND most importantly to love me more than i love him 3shan la abtelesh;/

Hasan.B said...

To be extremely different than my x wife:P

Delicately Realistic said...

Without a doubt everything I want in a man.

Âme said...

As usual its our usual FourMe.

Probably the guy is amazing, give it a try.

Don't break people's hearts.


1. One who can love me and reciprocate my love to her. (need not be unconditional too)

2. One who can TALK.

Yeah.. that's it all i want in the woman I am going to marry.

I don't care about the other things.

Anybody thinks anything more is needed, is invited cordially for a debate.

~ Soul

moi said...

hiii;**, legaitlech khosh falafel! falafel el mansoureya "heaveeeen";p!

ZoN said...

give it a try, why dont u?!!

im not looking for anything, i dont want anything.

Bloggerista said...

i'm not getting why u said no if there's nothing wrong with the guy?

f7ee7eely said...

lets just hope that the day when the list starts shrinking doesnt come...

f7ee7eely said...

Delicately halmarrah 7addech unrealistic...LOL

IF you do come across a man with the very specs u mentioned I wanna marry him too...

f7ee7eely said...

lool tawne ashoof akher so2al hehehehe yababa I chucked off the train menthoo zamaaaaaaan...

hal eghneya ehda2 7ag b3th elnas :P

f7ee7eely said...

matat wala yaha el hero,,

S said...

i know what u mean.. if i get asked what i wanted in a man, it's a list with no ending in sight..
but there's nothing wrong with an arranged marriage.. u could get to know the guy, witha ma3jibach, 9ij ni9eeb ba3ad ..and u're done!

desertpalms said...

Ur first sentence put this song into my hand:

its raaaining men hallelujah its raaaining menn

and for the rest of the post i was jus singing that in my head LOL

as for the question..that my dear has no answer..

Mix said...

I think sharing the same values and principles can make a big difference. In terms of specifics I would look for her to be kind, intelligent and open minded in a balanced way.

Traveleer said...

to play football with me

Daddy's Girl said...

The Question here is not what u want in the person u marry

the question here is why don't u want to get married?

Sure marriage is not easy, but it's a happy thing all in all...

Now, even though the idea of being suited up o pre-arranged marriage sakheefa ishway. Ur not a bag and he is not a sheep. But still, it is NOT an arranged marriage, u know why?

Because all they do is they let u meet a man. You can squeeze the information out of him... have fun, meet somebody, chat... then there is that click, that chemistry... maybe you will be swooned by him? You know the kind of meeting with a man the first time u meet him that you know he is the one?

Just meet with them... no one is forcing u to marry them or anything... meet, in a coffee shop or somewhere, talk like friends, then if u like what u see u may persue the thing further... think about it like a date!

I for one, from the first conversation i had with my husband, i knew we would click. It is just a feeling.

I have a friend who hated hated being suited up. One day her mom literally drags her to see a guy downstairs, 3 minutes into talking to him she felt she belonged with him...

o at least it's better to know he intends to marry u o his family already approves o respects u rather than meeting o falling in love o b3dain his family grills u like a kebab and kicks him out and all that drama...

So do not think about them as arranged marriages. Think of the as dates wich may or may not have a prospect. You can have ur own rules of course. Always a cup of coffee with the guy, always a certain place with a certain thing... my seeing him doesnt imply or promise anything... whatever...

O the day u feel that click, the chemistry, the flutter in ur eyes and the shyness ilee ma tadreen min wain yach faj2a... that's the day u know u found the one...

Itwanesay ishwarach... u know the amount of FUN and LAUGHTER these meetings induce? OMG u wouldn't believe!!!! Especially if the man demands strange things...

and it's a good chance to meet and make friendships tra...

Anonymous said...

arranged marriges work out more than so called love marragies..

stastics ;)

Shaikha said...

sewalefkom etwanes!!

I agree with daddy's girl! it doesn't matter how i get married as long as I TEST AND RETEST AND RETEST the guy malyommarra o atemagal eb kelshai feeh 3ala kaife!
THAT is not a violation of my rights as a woman; and that does not differ 3an a guy who saw me and fell at my feet eb some cafe aw vice versa ;P HEHE

What do I want in a man? I am yet to answer that question .. gabel hal question I have to answer: what do I want out of life? Thech elsa3 eye el marriage ;)

QUOTE [Bloggerista said...]
i'm not getting why u said no if there's nothing wrong with the guy?

I too don't get why you refused before you got to know more

**Im a new reader and participant**

wicked said...

you ain't gonna find something unless you search for it!
I agree with dear daddy's girl
give the guy a chance, you might click well together!
and if not, you have nothing to lose
from what i understand, you don't like it when a man asks his muummy to find him a decent wife.
but it's time to listen to the other side of the story.
Go out with him, talk to him, find out what's the reason behind his decision to go for an arranged marriage.
now don't get me wrong, i'm not against love marriage, I so wanna get married to the guy i'm in love with.
But if i were single, i'd give arranged marriage a chance
and i'm not talking about bdewy style arranged marriage where you meet your hubby for the first time AFTER you get hooked up with him.
I'm talking logic here, there's no harm in meeting up with the person, he might be the one, you'll NEVER know until you find out ;)
As for your question, i'm not gonna keep on talking about THE perfect guy-like most girls do- coz i'm not perfect myself, and no one is. I just want someone whom i click with ...things don't have to be perfect, they just have to be good enough .

Daddy's Girl said...

Eeeeh o i forgot to add...

U may have a husband drafted on a piece of paper with all ur carefully drawn out requirements...

then get a man who is completly opposite of that...

I wanted a taaaaaaaaaaaaaal broad shouldered hunk who is asmar with jet black hair that is on the longish side, who has a sense of humour, gives me flowers when i wake up in the morning, wakes me up with breakfast in bed, do something spontatious as in suddenly looking at me and saying "i booked tickets, surprise! Lets travel NOW"... i wanted him to speak english fluently and be able to carry a conversation with me in english... and be a reader who loved books and literature as much as i do and to wear glasses as well...

But the moment i met my husband-to-be on a plane? That went out of the window!!!!

He is thin and chiken legged, cannot speak english, hates reading o even worse, hates when i start reading... will not take one action before studying and thinking and analyzing and to him spontaneous is a masaba... so much for the flowers and the breakfast in bed ... will need me to translate every single word said in any movie/tv sitcom i watch, causing me to scream in frustration and throw away the remote, has almost no hair, and is whiter than me!!!!!

He was the complete opposite of my dream knight, but there was the click, the chemistry, the 2olfa thing... it is even written in the Holy Quran

and i do love him, and i waited 3 years for him to marry me, and i fought the world for him, and i lost all my friends and most of my family over him, and im enduring the worst inlaw family on earth and their daggers just for his sake...

Had he been dragged by the collar to sit in my living room or in a cafe to see me and i him, i would have still had that chemistry with him... :D

FourMe said...

no you're not a freak.. that's what we all want and its the hardest thing to find..

anony my love:
hehehe entay kila emthay3a :p
yaaa shagooooooooooooooool 3aib est7aaay :P I'm older than you and I won't dare say that ;) kila min soulo kharbaat akhlaqich hehehhe..

I agree with you a 100% except for the calm part.. I can't stand calm ppl they freak me out:/

hehe I don't blame you.. I have an offer for you how about you marry me, soulo, and anony and solve all our problems :D I promise we'll treat you good ;)

forgeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet it!! if you get a man like that I beg you let me share him with you!!

hope you find him inshalla :/

Huh!! Me heartbreaker?!? ohhh I'll make you pay for calling me that!

how can I turn down a challenge to debate! Ohh bring it on :p

"(need not be unconditional too)" you want someone to love you with certain reserves? how can you trust such person that does not give a 100%? such ppl turn around in split second and break your heart.. obviously there isn't a sure thing but one can be cautious by trying to find the one that loves them unconditionally if it is one of the requirements..

and do not give me nothing else matters thing.. how about if she was an atheist is that ok?

halaa o ghalaa eb 3aroosatna :** hehheehhh will give them a try thanx :*

yes you do.. you want her..

FourMe said...

because of the arranged marriage thing.. the idea scares the hell out of me.. its a glitch in my brain that won't accept it :/ i know I'm being an idiot but no matter how much I try to accept it I can't!

I don't expect much from men seeing I know most can't deliver :p shaklaa elist gonna shrik 7ad edoosa :/

hehehhe stand in line buddie I wanna share him with her!! 3 days for dr, 2 for me, and you can have him on the weekends :P

LOOOOOOL 7ashaaaa min gal enik qadeeem!!! daaaaamn i need a hero too! why won't you be my hero f7ee7eely :( and Dr and I can share you :D

for a girl that doesn't like to share it seems like am sharing alot these days :P

i dunno it just feels so weird.. you're right I can give it a try.. hell everyone keeps telling me give it a try and if doesn't work there is always divorce :/

I've been singing that for a while too :P

does such partner exist? if they do then they are an ideal match..

hahahhahahhaha nice one :p

daddy's girl:
six months ago marriage was TOTALLY off the table.. now it is.. I know it can be difficult and I have no doubt about that.. I'm a tad too realistic to portray marriage as a walk in the park..

I know that it is like a screening process.. but honest to God I can't do it.. I can't imagine myself with a man that chose me based on what his mother told him or whoever.. Jesus that man is gona have to sleep next to me for the rest of my life and to know that I was not his choice i.e. having someone tell him about me is just too ukhh for me..

I know it doesn't make sense to most ppl but i honestly don't care.. I care about what i feel and think.. I can't explain it the way I see it.. but it doesn't feel right.. and when something doesn't feel right with me I won't do it and I won't even attempt to do it..

Its like having certain set of values all your life and all of the sudden you are expected to change them! I cannot do so.. It might be my loss but I am willing to take that risk..

I don't base my life on statistics and how other people lived their lives.. I get to live my life once and I wanna do it my way :)

thanx dear :)

its not about my rights as a woman.. as long I am given the choice to sit with him and chat and see if he fits or not then my rights as a human being are intact..

refer to the answer I left for bloggerista..

welcome around dear hope you enjoy the ride :P

let me tell you I am a pessimist 10,000% but in this matter I am not! I believe I will find the right person some way or the other and it definitely won't be through arranged marriage.. I might be wrong but I have this nudging intuition that I would tread against him one day..

ahhh that damn click! that's exactly what I want.. I want the bitching click!! and trust me either its there or its not.. and it ain't with this dude I can just feel it and usually my feelings are spot on to the extent that it is scary!!

FourMe said...

daddy's girl:
you know I never did that! I never said I want a husband who has this and that in him because I never even toyed with the idea.. but now all I want seems to be reasonable! at least I think they are..

seeing my relationship went on longer than most marriages these days I'll tell you, he wasn't what I wanted in a man! We were so alike in many things but the important things he didn't have and I worked my way around it.. You could say I settled because the chemistry and click was there!

looks wise I never care for the exception of height.. my ex wasn't my ideal on looks but I didn't care, I liked other things in his character that matched mine..

You have noooo idea how much I respect you for doing all that to be with the man you love!! I just wish more ppl had guts like you and your husband.. rabi eywafgkom w ytamim 3alaikom inshalla..

as for what I want, I want the future Mr.FourMe to be religious most importantly and pray! after that comes understanding, I want him to be able to know me the real me not how I portray myself to others! You know when they say I know that person like the back of my hand, I want that. I want him to be a decent human being as have a heart and care about the human race not just himself! I cannot stand selfish ppl.. I wanna have the click the chemistry the idiotic smile everytime I see him or remember him..

as for everything else I think it can be fixed with time.. Men hate to admit it but a woman can mould a man in the irrelevant things as she pleases.. it is easily done as we the female species have our ways.. and trust me no matter how manly he is or stubborn he can be altered.. some women beg to differ and say it can't be done.. but I know I can do it.. I'm not saying I want a toy no.. I can have him do those little things that make me happy so I can make him happy.. after all it is a 2 way street and its not about the happiness of one person!

Anonymous said...

I repeat.. Im hocked on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
have no clue about U in real life, frankly I don't give a................... because I ADMIRE U, U swooped me heads over najdiiiya

I want u to be the mother of my children

إلي يبنا عيت النفس تبغه ولي نبيه عيا البخت لا يجيبا

مجروح فورمي المعذب دواه عندش

Anonymous said...

waleeeen shfeehom !!! el 3adsheq el walhan men kil soob!


ya baba la najdeya wala zanooba


Anonymous said...

مجروح فورمي المعذب دواه عندش


HAHAHAHAHAHAAH emla7theen el FourME ??

o ba3deen seriouslu ppl .. if u're in this deep shit love would you really express ur love in a comment????

like seriously!

Soul said...

wallah tartaraaaa!

beshaih beshaih :|

Anonymous said...

beshaih o shota ba3ad :P

FourMe said...

@@ ! Well thank you very much for that.. but the mother of your children is a bit difficult :/

eee wala 9dagt/9dagtay 3aya elbakht la yjeeba...

shda3waa majroo7 mara wa7da?

hehhehehehhehehehhe what do u want woman i have an admirer back off :P kilaaa yamshy khaleena entrzag alah lol!

where the hell do you want him/her express their "love"? here is fine I'm happy with here :p

ya satir 3alaikom kalaitaw erayaal! ma teswa 3alaih gala kilma :/

Anonymous said...

*etghane 7ag FourMe*

YE7LAMOOOOOOOOOOOON elii feek yfakeroon yakhethoonik enta meneeeeeeeeee 7ata law yetjanenoon

o 7ata lo enta tabeehom ..enta ma3hom te7lamoon


FourMe said...

ya ba3aaad 6owayif ahaal hasan entay :** hehehe ee wala y7lmoon ;)

ppl can dream on but there is only one anony that i love and no other :* come to mamaaaa :P

anonnny am sick I have a fever and coughing ..spoil me :(

:::ShoSho::: said...

I know I am married but I don't like the idea of forcing someone to marry or saying those proposals are going to stop or you're going to end up a spinster.. I mean, some women are happy the way they are, and no one seems to believe that.. Everytime I say that, they tell me " you're married, why do you care? " so I keep my mouth shut! lol I

eshda3wa said...

my cousin said this to me about arranged proposals

think of it as a blind date..
what have you got to lose?

she wants me to keep an open mind.

but its hard to keep an open mind when the idea of marriage makes me sick

Âme said...

I know a lady who said to me..
"I have turned down such proposals that even a girl with half brains would accept without a doubt. This one was a million times worse than those."

I am sure its is not about going and dating some guy who comes on a proposal ship.

Samantha's quote from Sex and The City .. "Honey, before you get a new car, you take it for a test drive."

Well, its about the test drive isn't it, not just sit in the car and get out.

To date a guy who comes on proposal train, is like sitting in that new car and get out. You will never have time to test drive it.

Yeah, there are some when who sit in the car and feel, oh yeah, we click and lets go for it.

The probability of that one click enduring a life time is slim. Some one talked about statistics, eh?, should take a course in probability.

I believe you are one of those, who neither want to go to garage often nor go for a car sale.

All you can do, is wait for the right car to come by.

I don't want to be a cheerleader here, .. yeah..but its a good decision.

~ Soul

Âme said...


Until they love me, I don't give a thing, if it unconditional or not.
I don't believe in breaking of heart.

Please spare me of the emotional melodrama, I would like to keep my expectations low, so that i wouldn't get surprises later on.

I expect her just to love me. She is free to live her life on her own free will.

I can get attached but I can never own anyone.
Her love is not limited and bottled only for me.
Love is never limited to anyone.

I don't mind if she's an atheist or a believer.
How many of us, just do all the routine things which believers do, yet don't understand what we are doing?

One little argument can come like a tornado, shaking all that belief from the roots.

Believing in God topic is hugely debatable one which needs another post by itself.

Let's leave it there for a moment, shall we ?

~ Soul

Big Pearls said...

If you are happy being single, then it doesn't matter if you get married or not. That is what I believe. The only thing is you make sure you won't regret it one day.

FourMe said...

missssssss u loads :**

exactly! no one can predict the future some women marry in their 30 or 40! no one knows meta eyeee en9eeb so why the "you're getting old you gotta get yourself a husband" talk :/

I swear they're making me feel so damn old!

join the club! I ain't fond of the idea much but now am getting a bit used to it seeing comes a time where you really do want someone there for you!

no one says it better than Samantha! that's the thing if certain things aren't there and its just seeing how the person is from couple of meetings it doesn't really give you an accurate read of who and what they are.. anyone can put on a show.. its about the actual journey, but then it doesn't work that way does it? Can keep on getting married over and over again to see who's the best choice.. and that's why I'm going on instinct with this..

You are too bloody technical for your own good! not everything can be broken down scientifically! In theory yes it can be BUT in reality things are felt.. "heart break" is a metaphor used to describe many things.. as breaking of trust, ruining dreams, losing hope etc.. not literally cutting the heart into pieces.. God has blessed us with the ability to feel happiness and sadness.. Sadness comes with "heartbreak" there is no melodrama that's freaking reality.. you can scientifically explain it all you want and at the end of the day its an emotion that we have..that is what makes us humans and not robots that are programmed to react in certain ways to certain situations!

don't tell me about low expectations and pessimism because in such I am the Queen.. and even when you have such expectations or in better words NON you still get smacked across the face..

Religion is not a debatable topic, it is only so with ppl who do not have 100% faith.. I don't engage in such topics not because I cannot carry it but because I know during its course blasphemy will occur on the other persons behalf..

big pearls:
asfaart wanwraaat :* lich wa7shaa.. and I agree..

Anonymous said...

here is from someone who was gonna marry a kuwaiti who was everything PLUS religious and prayed... let me tell you that everything that followed was proof of the most hypocritical being in terms of being so good and following religion.
he is now married to someone with a kid and the poor thing does not even know about his previous life!!! all i gotta say is karma!
since them i am certainly NOt looking for anything in a man