Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Talk about a bitch of a year ely ma ter7am! You'd think its a bad year and its almost over and a new one is coming and hoping it'll be a blast.. But NOOOOOOOO FourMe Happy??! La may9eer! Shloon? FourMe happy?? HELL NO! Honestly I don't know etha ana mawlooda gobisa or am I just destined to have bad luck or am I just not allowed to be happy or yemkin elwanasa 7aram 3alay because I've used it all up in the past! Wala madrii bs its not right that I rarely get to be happy or smile its not fair! Even the simplest things I don't get to enjoy.. And pleeeease don't tell me I can change my luck and be happy because apparently I can't because it seems like I don't own my happiness and its in the hands of others! How sad is it that that other people have the ability to make you happy with one word and alter your life.. Feeling so helpless is killing me no its not only killing me its ripping me to pieces.. I need a wake up call to see that I'm a puppet that can't control her own life and is under the mercy of others..
Fuck my newly found optimistic outlook on life. Fuck my New Years resolution of being happy. Fuck trying to be happy. Fuck hope. Fuck every fucking thing I ever wanted. Fuck happiness. Fuck life. Fuck me for ever having hope that I can be happy..
And a Happy Fucking New Year to you ALL..