Saturday, 13 December 2008
Hell Freezes Over When FourMe Walks In!
I miss those days where I used to be called a Cold Hearted Bitch! And that phrase was said by the bitchiest of all bitches that I have come across in my life.. and if she thinks I am cold then hell I must be REALLY COLD! Sadly I'm not anymore cold hearted nor bitchy (but still am Only when provoked) to the extant that I had the ability to make girls loathe me and bring men to tears. Sometimes I miss being that way, God knows I had so much more fun that way. I wasn't mean intentionally but it only came out of me well needed.. I've always been a "nice and caring" person but I always had it in me to be the mother of ALL bitches and the meanest one around! It surprises some to know how ruthless I can get (again only when provoked) its the mean twist that no one expects..
This new me is sO boring, homey, and so toned down.. I used to be called a "Social Butterfly" because I literally knew half of the city and when entering a place it would take me half an hour just to say my hellos and hi's.. Now I barely answer my phone.. At times I have the odd fun here and there but I hold myself back from being the person I was oh say from 17 till 25.. Those were the years of chaos (in a good way).. The thing is I know I have it in me to be that way but I keep convincing myself that I grew out of it.. I don't think I have I think I just suppressed that side of me because well its too "wild".. But recently I've been really wanting to get back to my old lifestyle in every sense.. The carelessness, coldness, wild attitude, bitchy, mean, simply full of life with not a care in the world.. But the bitch of it is that if I rekindle that side of me I know it would fuck up my life and screw things up with "Him" .. Mind you he knows I'm not little miss perfect but I don't think he knows just to what extant I was insane :/ Crap if he reads this I'm gonna get the 3rd degree of questioning..
So shall I or shan't I become the old fun FourMe?? Or is it we reach a period in our lives that we have to move on and become responsible fucking adults?? I'm tired of being responsible I wanna have fun at all costs!! Or have I had enough fun in the past years that I gotta behave now??