Sometimes you wish the closest people around you would just put an arm around you and comfort you. Instead they blame you and condemn you for putting yourself through hell. I understand that they do it out of love and not wanting to see you in a certain situation but what they don't know is that they're making you feel worse. Sometimes all you need is a shoulder to cry on. Not words of wisdom, not words of comfort, not a helping hand, and certainly not a pep talk; all you need is simply a shoulder to lean on and feel their warmth and presence. And when you're ready to let it all out, you will, and if you're not so be it, let them just be there, a shoulder to lean and cry on instead of opting for a cold stone wall. You would always know the wall wouldn't push you back and asks you to justify yourself and actions, it won't tell you to brush yourself off and get up and act as if nothing has ever happened and put it all behind, it won't ask you to start a new page while the previous page is drenched with your tears. Do they not see turning a page while its wet will tare it apart! We search for comfort in others while others search for comfort in us. Instead of shedding our burdens we take on their burdens because their happiness means to us more than our own. What is the limit, when is enough, enough for one person to bear. When will it be over? You stack one memory on top of the other in hopes it will erase previous memories instead it enhances your older memories and shuns the new ones till they disintegrate and become of no importance to be stored. You seek for a helping hand in strangers while knowing non could help, non could be there for you, non can help you, only you can help yourself, when it is obvious that you refuse to help your own self yet you are willing to help anyone that ask for your help. Not your own self, the one desperate in need of your help, you ignore it the most and refuse to acknowledge its existence. If yourself does not exist then it won't need your help. With one hand you pick yourself up while with the other you push it down lower than it previously was, its a continuous cycle of pushing and pulling but does anything change, No, you're still being pushed and pulled at the exact same level you are. Will you ever rise? That's one question that no one can answer except for your non-existing self..