Monday, 4 August 2008

I Need You.. But.. I'll Attend To You..


Sometimes you wish the closest people around you would just put an arm around you and comfort you. Instead they blame you and condemn you for putting yourself through hell. I understand that they do it out of love and not wanting to see you in a certain situation but what they don't know is that they're making you feel worse. Sometimes all you need is a shoulder to cry on. Not words of wisdom, not words of comfort, not a helping hand, and certainly not a pep talk; all you need is simply a shoulder to lean on and feel their warmth and presence. And when you're ready to let it all out, you will, and if you're not so be it, let them just be there, a shoulder to lean and cry on instead of opting for a cold stone wall. You would always know the wall wouldn't push you back and asks you to justify yourself and actions, it won't tell you to brush yourself off and get up and act as if nothing has ever happened and put it all behind, it won't ask you to start a new page while the previous page is drenched with your tears. Do they not see turning a page while its wet will tare it apart! We search for comfort in others while others search for comfort in us. Instead of shedding our burdens we take on their burdens because their happiness means to us more than our own. What is the limit, when is enough, enough for one person to bear. When will it be over? You stack one memory on top of the other in hopes it will erase previous memories instead it enhances your older memories and shuns the new ones till they disintegrate and become of no importance to be stored. You seek for a helping hand in strangers while knowing non could help, non could be there for you, non can help you, only you can help yourself, when it is obvious that you refuse to help your own self yet you are willing to help anyone that ask for your help. Not your own self, the one desperate in need of your help, you ignore it the most and refuse to acknowledge its existence. If yourself does not exist then it won't need your help. With one hand you pick yourself up while with the other you push it down lower than it previously was, its a continuous cycle of pushing and pulling but does anything change, No, you're still being pushed and pulled at the exact same level you are. Will you ever rise? That's one question that no one can answer except for your non-existing self..

18 comments:

Ruby Woo said...

FourMe ;****

I know what it's like. Needing someone, wanting someone without being constantly judged. Why not just a shoulder to lean on.

You'll rise. Mark my words, you'll rise. Just give it time. We're all lost. I've been looking, hunting for hope that I will rise without the help of others.

You'll rise ;**

FourMe said...

The magical concept of time and the notion that it mends all.. A concept created by fabricating a mirage of hope, light at the end of the tunnel.. When in fact the end could be pitch black. Assuming there is hope when there is a fifty fifty chance of its existence.. ok I'm in a dark mood and seeing no light.. plz ignore what I just said..

:*

Canc3riaN said...

This shoulder makes all the difference in the world. At least it keeps you healthy at some point.... it keeps you away from thinking that you're doomed and that you're the only broken person.... in fact it makes you feel unbroken.

People who have shoulders to cry on are the luckiest because others who don't are really suffering.

and sometimes all you need is to hear those exact words: It's gonna be okay.

Squirreliya said...

aww so touchy..

f7ee7eely said...

شفت الجوتي اللي تدورينه أمس في أديداس اللي بالسالمية القديمة هههههههه


هالأغنية راكبة ويااا البوست


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kTrkpPXYsM

Amethyst said...

Life's a bitch. And people fail to see that sometimes.

*Hug*

Cookies said...

its always ok at the end .. if it's not ok .. then its not the end !!=)

its hard .. but sometimes u got to learn to stand up on ur own !

Hope all turns out well ! =)

FourMe said...

canc3rian:
Very true it means the world.. some don't even acknowledge its importance not knowing it makes a hell of a lot of a difference..
==

Sq:
:)
==

f7ee7eely:
No waaay! Sold out from London but could find it in Salmiya Go figure.. hehe I'll pass by them and stock on more pairs..

Perfect song for the occasion I must admit..
==

Amethyst:
My dear life is not only a bitch but at times it is a whore as well..

*Hug*
==

Cookies:
That's just an assumption.. Not everything in life turns out to be so dandy it could simply end up crap.. but I agree you have to always pick yourself up on your own.. no one is ever there to lend a helping hand..

thank you dear :)

Âme said...

A picture is worth a 1000 words.

It says it all.

~ Soul

Oranjina fadidra said...

life is a b**ch be its p**p and if that shoulder did not lean you go and pull it! Kapiieeeesh..

on another note, if life threw' you n3al you go and wear it.. (mkrm il-reader).

Anonymous said...

aseeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlech shoulder wala tez3eleeeeeeen ;***




:)

Cookies said...

Fourme

i believe ina kilshay kheera .. ile allah katba is for the best .. we might not know the reasons at that time or maybe not even later .. bas there are reasons ! oo i interpret by believing inah kheera then things are gonna be okay .. so dont u think its safe to say that its ok in the end .. =)

Eulalia said...

Ive treated a friend of mine that way..because it hurt so much watching her destroy herself...she would poison herself and come back to me to suck the poison out when she was warned time over time...I gave her a shoulder to cry on but itmade no diffrence...

FourMe said...

Ame~soul:
:)
==

Oran Fad:
Screw it on need for a shoulder as long as you got a wall..

looool agreed..
==

Anony:
bless your heart you are truly adorable :*
==

Cookies:
w ni3ma billaah ely katba rabich by9eer I believe that as well still it doesn't not make matters easier to digest.. Maybe I'm contradicting myself where I do believe everything does happen for a reason yet I can't get my mind around believing its for the better..
==

eulalia:
Some people don't appreciate the fact that their are people there for them.. Its in their nature.. you can't change them..

Mariam said...

wow.that's exactly what I've been feeling for the past two weeks, but i just couldn't find the exact words. you said it all.

FourMe said...

Mariam:
I guess we're in the same boat :/

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

its scary the way you just steal the words right out of my mouth...

FourMe said...

I just hope you don't feel as bad as I do :/