Friday, 23 May 2008

No More!!

Until when am I going to reminisce over the past and neglect the present? Well NO MORE that is it! No more, no more, No More damn it ! That's it I have decided and that's final I will neglect myself no more I will pay attention to me and ONLY me! I am going to take care of myself and help her move on with her life, not necessarily meaning that I will stumble onto the next man. No I do not need a man in my life hell I am the man in my life, screw it I'm better than a hundred men put together! I shall start a new year filled with optimism, desire, and goals. I shall achieve things that have been hanging mid-air and move on to better things.

This doesn't mean that my heart does not ache and my soul doesn't feel shattered but what can I do I brought it onto myself. But then we don't get everything we want in life, and I've been lucky in many other aspects of life but I guess love is not one of them.

You were my heart, my soul, my everything, for you I overlooked the world and gave you my undivided attention and absolute and complete love. I loved you to a point that you will never understand and believe you me you will never be loved the same way by any other human being. You were my love and you still are but forgive me you don't deserve any more of my time spent thinking of you. You will be in my heart for ever but I promise you no more time will be spent dwelling over you.

I loved you and still love you with every inch of me but my love is far greater than to be waisted over a memory.. You are in my heart and my soul mate, you will always be but you are no longer my life nor my soul . . . . .


Big Pearls said...

your love is so great..very touching.

Hasan.B said...

The last few paragraphs were very very well written.

:::ShoSho::: said...

:( yeah, you do need closure and you need to do that yourself.. and no one can do that except you.. Inshallah soon you will..

Amethyst said...

Very good news:)

Squirreliya said...

great step ;>

noonie said...

Good 4 u!!;*

Vixen said...

: ) wish you all the best..

Oranjina fadidra said...

you go girl!!

Anonymous said...

3afya 3alich :)

FourMe said...

Thank you ladies & hasan :)

Ms. D said...

u r ur life.. u r ur soul!!

sweetie.. ive had soulmate elly i shared with him mo bs masha3er ow feelings ow stff we do together ow likes ow dislikes!!! WE EVEN HAD THE SAME EYE SIGHT!! same skin color.. same letters in our names.. same feelings!! elly he wakes up mikhtere3 min noma yosal le 3ndy min gher ma edig ana faj2a telgeny agom min elnom scared wala ehwa ba3ad 2 mins edig egoly am here can i come in ive had a bad dream! wed talk the same talk.. know the same things.. knew each other min we7na kids lema kibarna we knew who we were and it was a major kick ass surprise!

he was too much!! TOO MUCH.. but he was what he was and life carries on! and am here today. remembering it like it was yesterday.. and all i feel in my heart is pure happiness that i knew such happy times in my life.. times i know i will never live again.. but am happy. this person was gone ina mysterious way.. i was lost when he went.. i realized he was not with me anymore long after he disappeared.. i was left with no answers.. no people to ask what happened.. no trace.. but i woke up the next day after the shock of him disappearin to wherever he went beyond the horizon with the biggest simle.. the smile that he caused me no pain when we were toghther.. and i knew i loved him like no other man.. and i knew he loved me like no other woman.. altho he disappeared .. i dont know willingly or something bad has happened.. but i prefer not to think about the things that made him disappear.. go... no trace.. no.. i think about how lucky ive been to have known him and to have shared great love with a great person

and i do miss him..
its been 6 years now... i still do.
i dont cry over him.. or over his memory.. u might say its cruel.. the way things ended.. but i say its better that it ended that way.. better shocked than to have cried a thousand tears for him and he might not even come back!


chena wayed tkalamt? ok ;D

Soul said...

It will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Good move.

~ Soul

Soul said...

Times up..lets show the colors..

~ Soul

FourMe said...

ms d:
I'm sorry to hear that you are no longer together but as you said its difficult and I'm still in that phase and I hope I'll move out of it soon..

Can't I just get my memory deleted?

you're the technology whiz, invent something :/

ohh that's so nice..cheers Soul :)
but I see she's still in neutral colours I guess it will take much longer for the pastels to kick in..

Soul said...

Probably i will develop it in pastel.

Will scan and post it.

~ Soul

Soul said...

No Tears Yet..

Will try to post the sketch with tears.

Need to buy some pastels. Its been long.

~ Soul

FourMe said...

ahh if only you could develop me into pastels and get me out of this darkness (I sound cheesy I know).

I'm impressed!! If its yours than nice work! Leave her with no tears.. no more need to be shed..

Soul said...

I can only scan my rough sketches.

Others i photograph.

Send a picture, probably i might find some time to put my pastels on sheets.

~ Soul

Soul said...

Another rough sketch;

FourMe said...

so a techno whiz with an artistic side.. quite a treat, thought most with brains are nerds with no vision :p (no offence)

she seems very sad yet anxious but I like the sliding of the finger unnoticed, nice touch.

I think the tear eyed gal is the only one that need pastels..

Soul said...

I am on it.

Once i am done I will post the link here.

If you get curious, you can have a sneak peek of the sketch at my blog.

~ Soul

FourMe said...

sounds good.. will wait to see her in all her brights.

I am very malgoofa so would want to see the working progress too.