Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Shut Eye - Or Not!

Heads up: If this post makes no sense and is incoherent then just screw it and don't give me a hard time!

I think No I know I am an insomniac, maybe a semi-insomniac. I don't know but I'm definitely some sort of an insomniac. You have no idea how much I miss sleeping! I do sleep but after an agonizing routine after I feel my mind and body have exceeded their daily limit of the ability to function.

By the way I'm typing this post with one finger, I'm on the verge of collapsing. It's 6 something AM!! I know if I go to bed now I won't be able to sleep so I have to drain myself completely to be able to sleep.

Since a young age I always slept late, so its not a new thing, its part of the me but with the whole mess with this 'soulmate' ordeal I have completely lost the ability to sleep. I fear going to bed.. The second I lay my head on the pillow 10 million memories rush through my brain its like a flood rushing through, not only that but a million question to! How, why, for what reason, and an endless endless list goes on.. that process takes an additional hour or so. So not only I can't sleep at a decent hour but on top of it I have to suffer an hour or 2 before I'm able to get some shut eye. La w ya rait it's a good night sleep!

Do you know how it feels, do you know how emotionally and physically draining it is, do you know how much I'm tired, do you know how much I'm being pushed to my daily limit each day, do you know how much I'm dying to sleep?? No really SLEEP.. just for one night I swear to God I just want a One good night sleep . . . . .

I am so tired..

Now I'm completely drained.. I shall hit the sack..

Good pissing m0rning to you all..

22 comments:

A Journal Entry said...

waay allah e3eenich i can relate to that =(
when that happens 2 me i try to block thoughts out.. try not to think of me not being able 2 sleep! hatha il wath3 illy u just keep on glancing at the watch eta3ib!

Missy said...

Go get yourself BabyJohnson's bedtime bath, take a shower, pray 9alat el 3esha and go to bed, YOU WILL SLEEP LIKE A BABY. ;P

Hamitaf La B. said...

Did you eventually get some sleep?!

Have you tried sleeping pills...?!

Well maybe you shouldn't try sleeping pills...

and yeah.. not sleeping drains the soul out of you...

Allah e3eeenich :)

Big Pearls said...

this is so hard.. allah ye3enech..I've been thinkingabout something before going to sleep every night and it's really annoying..not being able to sleep..maybe you should consider talking to dr about it.

Anonymous said...

weeeeeee ;/

try counting sheeps ;p .. wala sometimes it works! .. to keep ur mind off the thing u dont want to think of .. or just close ur eys o estaghferaay tll you fall a sleep

anyway not sleeping really sucks!!

so allah e3eenech ;( ..
hope you get some sleep soon!

Soul said...

et3edeeen 5aroofs, nejooooom, numbers, ur hair, makooooo fayda as long as u think too much!

it's all in ur head. take it all out! think blank!

its not hard! simply.. DON'T THINK!

wallah u can if u have a strong mind.

Ms. D said...

try taking selenium supplemets.. they aid good night sleep and reduced restlessness and insomnia and enhance sleep pattern...

plus 7abeebti enty.. STOP!!! please see a shrink!!! walla el3atheem i know what ur goin thru.. u need professional help.. "his memory" is makin u stop living life!!! latgoleen i can do it ow i just need time.. NO! u need to take a stand and go see someone.. sadgeeeeeeeny it works! i know u gonna say shisalfa asma3 kalam wa7ed aw wa7da may3rfon shy 3anny!! bs one thing for sure! they can help u get over separation issues!!!!!!

tara kil ur pms ow pmdd o migraine o insomnia ow restlessness inty yaybat`hom 7ag 3omrech!!!!!

i really care about u too much to see u destroy urself like this..

atmana u wake up with the best beest besssst "bubbliest" attitude eveeeeeeeeeer ;**

eshda3wa said...

no wonder u get migraines all the time..

try herbal teas
they work for me

:::ShoSho::: said...

I used to do that too.. stay up late but after my seond boy khalas.. last time would be like 11 or 12 MAX.. with the exceptions if i am watching a series on DVD, like last night when I slept at 4.. but i get these phases every like 3 to 6 months..

:::ShoSho::: said...

I wish there was something i could do to make you forget, but I know i can't Sorrry...

FourMe said...

a journal entry:
Even if I block thoughts when I'm in bed that doesn't solve the problem that I can't sleep :/

==

missy:
I pray 9alat el3esha, and 9alat Elail or Qeyam elail (don't know what its called), and 9alat Elfayir, and One more 9alat elfayir for the days that I missed in the past and I read Quran sometimes.

==

hamitaf la b.:
yes after a minimum of an hour to 2 hours of twisting and turning I sleep.
No I don't like taking sleeping pills. I have this thing where I like to always be in control of myself and sleeping pills makes you lose it a bit.

==

big pearls:
Cheba7 doctors khal eyfchechoon what's wrong with the other things that I'm suffering from than I'll bother with the sleeping.

==

Anon:
I count everything Mako faydaaa. I read every thing that I've memorised from the Quran, not to just sleep but I do that as a must.
The thinking is not the problem as much as not being able to sleep at a decent hour is.

Amethyst said...

Kelish wala noumti, 3ad;\

FourMe said...

soul:
3al goltich mako fayda..Ok people seem to be missing the point that I am some sort of an insomniac! its not the thinking I just can't sleep in general.

and ya I do the blocking thing after I'm totally drained.. I can't do it before..

==

ms. d:
I kinda try to minimise my intake of pills because I take so much painkillers that my stomach is so screwed.

My pmdd is because I have problems with my ovaries, my Migraines I had since I was 13 years old and my mother had it too, Insomnia min 3omry 7 yrs old w ana ma anaam 3adil. So ana mo yaybita 7ag nafsy its been there long before I could think about useless things. I guess its just a thing I have, bs elalf el7amdila I've been living with it and its fine.

I had worse things that happened in my life and I managed to get out of it without seeing a shrink.. trust me I ain't gonna start seeing one now. True its affecting me but I'm gonna do something about it very soon, in the sense of forgetting or whatever.

You're such a sweetheart thank you for your concern its very sweet of you :**

Oh I woke up with the worse headache on earth :)

==

eshda3wa:
I need re-formatting :p
I do once in a while but not all the time.. still they just calm me down they don't make me drowsy.

==

shosho:
Oh my god I would love to sleep at 11. I don't think I have ever slept at 11! Even when I worked I used to sleep late, there was the occasional times when I sleep at 1 or so, and that was early :)

It's all right dear there is nothing that can be done :)

==

amethyst:
I know its the most important thing :/

Missy said...

3ayal get the bedtime bath shower gel ;P 3al agal u wanna sleep bas u can't, ana im sleepy bas maly 5elq anam! lol

G and L said...

Believe me, I know!

FourMe said...

missy:
em9amima ya3ni hehehe I'll give it a try :)

==

g and l:
I have a feeling that you do..

Ms. D said...

i really wanna see u never speakin about ashya2 t2il elgalb ow tbachy again.. RAJA2AAAN!! ;D

wishing u the cheesiet and corniest dreams ever ;p just so that u cant wake up with a smile on ur lil pretty face...

plus just look at my "katkoot pic" and laugh ;D

FourMe said...

ms.d:
lol mo b'edy my situation at the moment et3il elgalb.

thank you D, wish you the sweetest of dreams :*

yakhty yabela tfqi9 tfiqi9 hal katkoot ely 3indich

Shoush said...

Did u seek professional help?

FourMe said...

shoush:
nope I've just accepted the fact that I can't sleep like everyone else.

Shoush said...

So now u know wat u shud do. Inshala it's not a big deal. But it's good to check it out, just to be on the safe side. Inshala mafeech ila il3afya. :*

FourMe said...

shoush:
In that sense I'm not worried just did a full check up couple of months ago and el7amdila all is good.

but ya I'll double check soon on the issue.